What article if I kill my husband? Ex-husband threatens. What to do if you are divorced but forced to live together

Domestic violence is a fairly common phenomenon not only in Russia, but throughout the world. And the main reason for this is the woman’s defenselessness and the inability to fight back the rapist.

In this article we will answer the following questions: what to do if your husband (or ex-husband) threatens violence? Which authorities should I contact? What penalties can be applied to an ex-husband who threatens his ex-wife with violence or murder?

Procedure

If your ex-husband receives regular threats of violence or murder accompanied by persecution and real actions (beatings, strangulation, etc.), You should immediately contact the police with a corresponding statement.

Info

You should file a police report and inform your ex-husband about this even if the threats have not yet been confirmed by real actions. Perhaps this action will “cool the ardor” of the ex-spouse and he will abandon attempts at intimidation and other unpleasant consequences.

If the initial application did not frighten off the ex-spouse and he continues to threaten violence or even actually use them, you should submit statements to the police again and again until the police respond to them and call the husband for questioning.

Read how to file a police report online

Read about what penalties can be applied to an ex-husband threatening violence in the next section.

Penalties for threats

Threats of violence/murder from an ex-husband are criminal offenses controlled by the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.

Info

“Threat of violence” is usually understood as a message to the victim with the intention of causing serious harm to health.

However, in the absence of a sufficient evidence base confirming the validity of the threats(accompanied by actual harm to health), the initiation of a criminal case may be refused.

Penalties for death threats depend on the nature and frequency of the threats. So, are the threats just threats or are they accompanied by real actions: persecution, assault, exerting serious psychological pressure.

In case it is proven real and the health of a woman on the part of her ex-husband, law enforcement officials will initiate a criminal case. Subsequently, the rapist will face the following penalties:

• Administrative arrest for up to six months;
• for a period of up to two years;
• for a period of up to two years;
• Community forced labor for up to two years;
• up to four hundred eighty thousand rubles;

If death threats from ex-husbands have religious, nationalist, political or racial overtones, the following penalties may be applied to them:

• for a period of up to five years + restriction of the right to hold a certain position for a period of up to three years (or without it);
• Imprisonment for up to five years + restriction of the right to hold a certain position for up to three years (or without);

Result: If it is proven that the threats of violence or murder from the ex-husband have a real basis, a criminal case will be opened. If the only factor proving the reality of the threats is some phrase such as “I will stab you,” the initiation of a criminal case will be refused due to lack of grounds for carrying out the threats.

Proving the likelihood of implementation of uttered threats can be done by:

• wives (of any degree). In this case, the physical harm caused must be recorded in the emergency room;
• When making threats, the ex-husband was holding some kind of dangerous object (knife, hammer, bat, etc.);

This must be proven by photographs or video recording.

• Testimony of witnesses present when death threats were made;
• Evidence that the wife is being persecuted by her ex-husband (testimony from neighbors, friends, relatives, etc.);

Unfortunately, physical and psychological violence in the family is a fairly common occurrence, the reason for which lies in the inability of the female side to independently provide proper protection for themselves.

In an attempt to assert themselves and show “who’s boss,” the spouse often resorts to a variety of methods of influence - from psychological pressure (threats, raised voice, insults) to the use of physical force (from beatings to attempted murder).

When faced with regular threats from your husband, you should not wait until they come true and you become another victim of domestic violence. Read this article about what a woman should do if her husband threatens her with physical violence.

Corpus delicti

In accordance with Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation “Threat of murder and infliction of grievous bodily harm,” threats of death, as well as infliction of grievous bodily harm, are criminally punishable.

The basis for bringing the husband under Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation and starting criminal proceedings may be one of the following:

• If there have been threats of physical harm or murder;
• If the voiced threats were accompanied by real attempts to implement them.

Today it is allowed to report a husband’s threats in oral, written (paper version) or electronic (via the official website) form.

Determining the reality of threats

In order to accuse a spouse under Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation “Threat of murder and infliction of grievous bodily harm,” it is necessary to prove the unequivocality and certainty of the threats voiced by him, i.e. the potential reality of their implementation.

The reality of the threats may be:

• Subjective, when the wife is convinced that her husband really intended to kill her, but the husband tried to simply intimidate her, limiting himself to psychological influence on the wife;
• Objective, when the threats of physical harm or murder were real and the husband really wanted (or even tried) to kill his wife.

Regardless of the nature of the threats, the corpus delicti is formed already at the stage of voicing the spouse’s intentions to cause physical harm to his wife, which can lead to death.

Translating threats of physical violence or murder into reality is prosecuted under another article of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.

Wife's mistakes

A threat is an attempt at psychological manipulation on the part of the person who voiced it. Thus, he wants to morally break his wife in order to subsequently receive an “ideal” wife who will unquestioningly fulfill his every whim.

Erroneous behavior on the part of a woman in such a situation can be:

• Silence. Often women deliberately hide tyranny in the family so as not to spoil the reputation of the “ideal couple” or to give way to unnecessary rumors, ridicule, and gossip from neighbors, friends and acquaintances. Among other things, wives hope to the last to correct their negligent spouse, they believe that he himself will understand his mistakes, and at one point he will come with flowers and an apology. However, as sad practice shows, such radical changes happen extremely rarely, and if a man initially showed despotic traits, there is no point in hoping that they will change to Samaritan ones;
• Reluctance to seek help from law enforcement. The mentality of Russian wives is such that reporting their own husband to the police is considered a manifestation of female cowardice and insolvency, as well as the apogee of shame on the institution of the family. Therefore, gritting their teeth, women endure verbal attacks from their husband to the last, cry at night, complain to friends, but do not go to the police, as they should do, until it comes to the implementation of threats;
• Humility. Communication with friends, domestic TV series and modern talk shows convince Russian women that disrespectful and tyrannical attitude on the part of the husband is the norm, which should not be fought, but reconciled and submitted to him. However, this is not true. Every woman deserves to be treated with respect, if only because she is a woman.

Therefore, you should not endure attacks and threats from your husband, gradually earning yourself chronic neurosis or other nervous disorders.

Read about what to do and where to go in the next section.

What to do?

In a situation where, due to the husband’s voiced threats, the wife begins to fear that they could come true at any moment, should be taken immediately, namely:

• Do not stay with your husband one-on-one. When a conflict with a spouse threatens to get out of control and escalate into a real fight or even an attempted murder, you should leave the space (apartment, car) in which the quarrel broke out as soon as possible, going “in public.” The presence of eyewitnesses can curb the tyrant’s ardor, thereby guaranteeing the woman some protection from the realization of threats;
• Call for help. It can be provided by a close relative, friend or acquaintance, as well as a neighbor or even a random eyewitness to what is happening. If at the time of a quarrel the spouses are alone in their apartment, the woman may try to call for help by starting to scream inside or running out onto the balcony, hitting the radiator, throwing heavy objects at the wall, and also performing other actions that can generate noise and attract attention;
• Keep yourself in control. Until the moment a woman is completely safe, she should maintain equanimity of spirit until the last moment, not panic, and under no circumstances attempt to attack her husband, thereby opposing him. Almost always, men are physically superior to representatives of the fairer sex, therefore an attempt to provide physical confrontation on the part of the latter is more likely to only inflame the despot and push him to carry out his threats. Therefore, the most correct thing in this situation would be to imitate submission to your spouse, assent to everything he says, and try to at least temporarily calm him down;
• Call the cops. The law enforcement officer who arrives at the scene will draw up a report and initiate a case if there are sufficiently compelling reasons for this, and if necessary, he will disarm the hot-tempered spouse and send him to the police station.

Necessary actions: step-by-step instructions

• A petition is filed with the police.

It doesn’t matter whether real actions took place or whether the husband limited himself to threats - it’s WORTH filing a police report. As a rule, upon receipt of the first complaint about threats, law enforcement officers limit themselves to only warnings and preventive conversations with the enraged family man. To attract more radical measures of responsibility, you should report to the police after each scandal with your husband.

• Report to the police station. On site, the woman will receive an application form to fill out, as well as a sample of the already completed application. It will contain the following information:

1. The name of the authority to which the statement of threats is submitted (in this case, the details of the police duty station are indicated);
2. Applicant details (full name, residential address, contact information);
3. Description of the reason for the appeal: how the quarrel began, what threats were made by the husband, how reliable and feasible they are from the applicant’s point of view, etc.;
4. Legislative reference confirming the legality and validity of the charges brought (Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
5. A separate item provides detailed information about the spouse (full name, place of residence, place of work, position held, age, presence/absence of drives, etc.);
6. If there is an evidence base, a list of materials is listed, for example: an audio or video recording in which threats are heard, testimony, etc.;
7. At the very end, the date of preparation of the document is indicated, as well as the personal signature of the applicant.

Please note that the police will not consider written complaints submitted anonymously.

After receiving an application, it is subject to registration, and then addressed to an authorized law enforcement officer for consideration.

The period for consideration of an application, according to the law, is from 3 to 10 days.

Evidence base

Collecting evidence when filing a complaint about threats to the police is one of the most important stages, and if you skip it, you should not be surprised if the complaint is left without consideration at all.

The following may serve as evidence of the illegality of acts on the part of a spouse:

• Witness's testimonies;
• Audio and video recordings;
• Screenshots of correspondence with my husband (from the phone, from the computer);
• Dictaphone recordings (for example, of a telephone conversation);
• Testimony of the injured party.

All available evidence should be attached to the completed application in the form of additional documentation.

Going to court

If, after considering the application, a decision is made to initiate a criminal case and begin proceedings, the parties to the case will be summoned to an initial hearing, during which the wife, as the injured party, will give the necessary testimony, as well as provide evidence of her husband’s criminal acts.

In turn, the husband, as the accused party, has the right to provide his evidence, which will help justify his actions and, ultimately, recognize his innocence.

Following the hearing, the judge may decide:

• On the detention of the accused party;
• On payment to the injured party of material compensation for moral damage caused.

The listed decisions can be made either individually or in combination - both at once.

Responsibility

For threatening his wife, an unscrupulous family man must suffer appropriate punishment. In most cases, the Criminal Code imposes restrictions on the freedom of the offender.

Can be chosen as a preventive measure responsibility:

• With qualifying features;
• Without qualifying features.

Let's look at each of them in more detail.

With qualifying features

The definition of the concept of “qualifying characteristics” is given in the second part of Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. Thus, it is understood as voicing threats based on racial, political, national or ideological hostility, or against the background of social inequality.

In this case, the following penalties are provided:

• Forced labor for up to 5 years + ban on holding certain positions for up to 3 years;
• Imprisonment for up to 5 years + similar restrictions.

Without qualifying features

In the absence of qualifying features, the penalties are determined by Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. According to it, for threats without motive, expects a careless husband:

• Restriction of freedom for up to six months;
• Imprisonment for up to 24 months;
• Forced labor for up to 24 months;
• Mandatory work for a period of 400 to 800 hours.

Other ways to resolve the problem

If a woman understands that a critical point of no return has come in the history of her family happiness, the only right decision in this case will be to pack her things, move and file for divorce.

A woman can also try to seek help from her loved ones (friends, relatives, acquaintances) or from a specialized Fund for helping women who find themselves in similar life circumstances.

If you receive death threats, Prosecution is permitted in the following cases:

1. If there is evidence that the person has received death threats (to break your head, throw you from the 10th floor, etc.), and not abstract intimidation, in the spirit of “I’ll hit you now”;
2. The voicing of the threat was accompanied by reinforcing actions. For example, a husband promised to kill his wife by putting a knife to her throat.

• In a situation where an attacker hurls threats at you, under no circumstances should you respond to them or threaten in response. The response will further anger the offender and encourage him to commit atrocities that he is only threatening to put into practice;
• Collect as much evidence as possible that will confirm the fact of the threats voiced if you are going to contact the police with a statement against your negligent spouse;
• When filing a petition for threats, refer to Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. Subsequently, this will become the basis for initiating criminal proceedings;
• If law enforcement agencies refuse to open a criminal case, as well as provide other assistance, pack up and leave the house in which you are humiliated in every possible way, and perhaps one day even deprived of your life!

1. What to do if your ex-husband threatens you via SMS.

1.1. Hello! File a report with the police.

2. My ex-husband is threatening to kill me, what should I do?

2.1. Hello Allah! You have the right to file a corresponding complaint with the police. Please note that the facts of the threat will need to be confirmed by video and/audio recordings, correspondence, and witness testimony.

3. The husband threatens to kill, there are several recordings, the husband’s brother works in the authorities, where to go.

3.1. Video recording or audio recording? And what does his brother work for in the authorities and in which ones?
If you are really afraid of reprisals, then you should contact the police or prosecutor’s office.

4. My husband's ex-wife insults and threatens our family. How to stop her?

4.1. Hello, Elena! You have every reason to contact the police and file a complaint against her.
Sincerely, LAW FIRM "ZAKON".

4.2. good day, Elena! If the threats are real, then file a statement with the police. But I think your husband needs to have a serious conversation with her about the payment - you are nobody for our family and there is no way to call you. If you don't want a police report, then leave my new family alone. You can always find a way out of any situation, the main thing is to take steps to achieve it. Contact lawyers and they will help you in drawing up documents and resolving your issue. Contact numbers and addresses are usually indicated under the lawyer’s response.
Good luck to you and all the best in your endeavors.
Sincerely, legal company "PRAVO", member of the Guild of Human Rights Defenders of Moscow!

5. The ex-husband of my common-law wife threatens and insults her via WhatsApp.

5.1. Hello.
Your ex-wife needs to contact the police with a statement regarding threats from her ex-husband and provide evidence. The police will take all necessary measures to bring him to justice.
All the best.

6. The ex-husband threatens and humiliates. How to protect yourself.

6.1. Contact the police with a statement regarding the threats and criminal prosecution in accordance with the procedure established by law. Good luck to you.

7. My ex-husband threatens me and my husband with physical harm.

7.1. If you have evidence of threats, then you need to contact the police with a statement to bring him to justice. However, if your ex-husband simply calls and says that he will deal with you, then it will be difficult to initiate a criminal case under Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation - threat of murder. Write then that the threats occur systematically and are in the nature of psychological torture. This is torture.

8. My husband threatens to kick me and my 3-year-old son out of the house. Threatens to beat and kill. There were cases of physical violence. Beatings. Make my life hell.

8.1. Contact the police in case of a threat to life.

8.2. If you are not the owner but the mother, she has the right to evict you. Regarding threats of murder, beatings and other violence, contact law enforcement agencies.

9. What awaits the wife who threatened to harm her husband in text messages, who will send people who will fuck her in all the cracks and who will suck blood? SMS saved!

9.1. Criminal liability awaits her.

10. Divorced from my husband, but the divorce has not yet entered into legal force. I want to file for division of property, but my ex-husband took almost all of my property (4 cars and small equipment) and sold it without my consent. He also threatens that if I file for division, I will pay loans worth 1 million rubles together with him, I was not even aware of these loans. What should I do in my situation?

10.1. It must be submitted for section. What kind of loans? What did you undertake?

10.2. File a claim for division of property. In court, recognize the loans taken as jointly acquired property taken for the needs of the family, or refute them.
The ex must prove that the loans he took went to the needs of the family, but you. refute this.

11.1. Regina, leave calmly with your child and file a claim for marriage in your home country. It is advisable to do this before the husband imposes a ban on the child traveling abroad. If he manages to impose such a ban, then there will be problems with the child’s departure that will take a long time to be resolved in court.

11.2. Good afternoon Regina

You can go home with your child and get a divorce in Ukraine.

12. The husband began to beat the children, threatened his non-native son with a knife to the throat, saying if you don’t listen, I’ll stab you. Will he be given a prison sentence or will he get off with correctional labor? Scary.

12.1. This is a death threat and they give a real sentence for this.

13. On the Internet, my Neighbor writes false information about me, insults me, and threatens me and my husband.
There are screenshots of all the insults and threats.
He also sends slander about me to local groups on VKontakte (that I am an inadequate crazy person and throws myself at people).
He also writes to my husband at work with slander.
I want to write a police report against her, please tell me how best to file it.

13.1. In order to file it, you need to go to the area where the perpetrator lives and tell the person on duty that you have been insulted and you intend to file a complaint. You need to have your passport and information about the identity of the attacker with you.
The district police officer will conduct an inspection and issue an appropriate decision.

14. My ex-husband, from whom I have a small child of 2.5 years, constantly threatens my life and health, promises to shave my head, causes material harm, what should I do, can I write about an attempt on my life if he attacks me.. two statements I already wrote about him, so far there are no measures regarding him.. what should I do? He also has a criminal record in the past, including serious bodily ones... I'm afraid, I want him to go to jail.

14.1. Hello Diana. An ex-husband can be imprisoned only for real actions. Regarding the inaction of the police, write a complaint to the prosecutor's office. Of course, it is advisable for you to change your place of residence under the specified conditions.

15. We haven’t lived with my ex-husband for almost 4 years, he still writes SMS insulting and humiliating messages, talks to his daughter on the phone and tells her how bad I am, insulting me at the same time, threatening to sue me, that I will pay a fine because I don’t allow him to communicate with her.

15.1. You can contact the police with a statement to bring him to administrative responsibility under Art. 5.61 Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation for insults. SMS correspondence will confirm this. You can also recover compensation for moral damages from him for insults. And don’t be afraid, on the contrary, his illegal behavior will justify why you are not giving him a child. And if he wants to communicate more, let him prove this right in court.

16. Everyone’s time is precious. Tell me how to protect my family... the police refused to help until the first incident of physical violence happened. I'm telling you. I married a girl who was previously married. Ex-husband, drug addict, local bandit. Showed up recently. Constantly threatens me and my family. What should I do, because if I cannot legally protect myself and my family from him, I will have to act illegally... if possible, add me to VK. Alexander Pyzhonkov. City of Ryazan. I'll give you more information.

16.1. Record all conversations, threats, etc.
Write statements, complaints.
You can also be charged for insults, among other things.

17. My daughter worked as a merchandiser in a store. Her husband came there in a drunken state and began to demand money, she did not give it, then he took a package of coffee and shampoo for 3200 rubles, she ran out after him, he had already left when she came home, he threatened her, if he told anyone, it would be worse , a few days later she left him, and he wrote a statement to the police as if she had suffered this, she wrote the truth during interrogation, but she was told that this was complicity, what to do?

17.1. Hello! Let him write a counter-statement to law enforcement agencies regarding the theft.

17.2. Good afternoon. Since your daughter is suspected of a criminal offense, I recommend that your daughter consult a lawyer in the city where she lives. As a rule, participation in one investigative action costs 5,000 rubles. This is better than the article of the Criminal Code.

18. Can my partner (and/or his mother) threaten or “place” a lien on the house I own? Since for 4 years of living together the main financial part came from my common-law husband (cohabitant). That is, only on the basis of “papers” that he deposited funds into my bank account. And he will claim that these funds were used to build this house.
How to understand his phrase - we (he and his mother) are dealing with the encumbrance?

18.1. If a lawsuit is filed, it may file a petition for interim measures, but you have the right to appeal this.

18.2. Liliya Ibragimovna, in any case, they can only count on money, but not on the house itself.

19. We lived with our common-law husband for 7.5 years. Now he has found himself a new woman and is using all his might to kick me out of the apartment with our common child. He is the owner of this apartment, and we are simply registered. My daughter from my first marriage also lives with us. He threatens, drinks and constantly exerts moral pressure. What to do in this situation?

19.1. Hello. If he is the owner, then he has the right to even remove you from the registration register and even evict you.

20. I am a citizen of the Russian Federation. The child too. The former common-law husband (his father) threatens to physically harm me and threatens to take the child to Abkhazia. He himself is a drug addict with hepatitis B and C and uses lyric poetry. How can I avoid all this and protect myself and my child?

20.1. Hello! Contact the police!

20.2. Good afternoon. First, if you cannot resolve the issue peacefully, write a statement to the police. It is better to do this more than once and save copies of the application. If preventive measures do not help, and he is the father of the child, prepare documents to court for deprivation of parental rights.

20.3. Hello Angela, you need to write a statement about his threats to the police. Deprive him of parental rights in court.

21. There is a video where tenants who refuse to pay rent insulted my husband and threatened with physical violence. (He is an idiot and when he leaves work they will find him, put him on his knees and...). What is provided by law in this case?

21.1. Contact the police and the threat will be investigated. And also to court to collect rent.

22. My husband is divorced, calls me on the phone, threatens me, says that I will regret it.. Can I somehow limit him from coming to our home to see the child? There are recordings of conversations. Thanks for the answer.

22.1. Hello Maria.

Is the order of communication with the child defined?

23. How can I challenge the paternity of my ex-husband, since he is not the biological father, but at the time of adoption he knew that it was not his daughter, three years have passed since the divorce, she does not participate in any way in raising her, they did not file child support because he threatened me . What to do, please tell me! The main thing for me now is to challenge the entry in the act.

23.1. Evgenia, good evening. You need to file a claim in court to challenge paternity. It is the father of the child who cannot file a claim if at the time of establishing paternity he knew that the child was not his. This restriction does not apply to the mother.

23.2. And this is not difficult.
Contact the court with a claim to cancel the official record of the father in the child’s birth certificate. During the proceedings, you request a DNA examination to determine the absence of family ties between the child and the person indicated as the father.
The defendant’s refusal to participate in the process may serve as grounds for considering the case in his absence and satisfying the claim.

24. Who should I turn to if my former common-law husband does not allow me to live in peace? He doesn’t threaten... He wants to live with me again, but I don’t want to, because... I know the consequences!

24.1. Tatyana, your question is more of a family issue than a legal one. Whether to live with him or not is up to you to decide in this case.

25. The situation is this: I have a 2.9-year-old child living with a former common-law husband, the family is terrible, his mother drinks with a man who was once seen with pedophilic tendencies, my sister’s husband is a prisoner, he leaves the child with them, I can’t take it for myself without work and I live with a friend, my mother is seriously ill and that’s not an option for her either.
And they threaten that if we don’t take the child, they will beat her.
What can be solved?

25.1. If you do not need a child, then contact the guardianship service. The child will be taken to an orphanage.

25.2. I agree with the previous answer. Contact the guardianship and trusteeship authorities. Perhaps the child will be better off in an orphanage than with his father and his family. Moreover, if you yourself cannot provide your child with normal living and upbringing conditions.

26. My ex-boyfriend threatens me and my husband, comes to our work, talks all sorts of nonsense, writes complaints. At the moment I am pregnant, he wrote to me that he will wait until I give birth! What to do?

26.1. Ksenia, it is necessary to record all threats and messages and file a corresponding complaint with the police. You shouldn't communicate with him. Let the police talk to him.

26.2. File a complaint with the police, and in case of improper response, contact the prosecutor's office.
Federal Law of January 17, 1992 N 2202-1 (as amended on October 30, 2018) “On the Prosecutor’s Office of the Russian Federation.” Article 10. Consideration and resolution of applications, complaints and other appeals by the prosecutor's office.
""1. The prosecutor's office, in accordance with their powers, resolves statements, complaints and other requests containing information about violations of laws. The decision made by the prosecutor does not prevent a person from going to court to protect his rights. A decision on an appeal against a sentence, decision, determination and order of the court can only be appealed to a higher prosecutor.
""2. Applications, complaints, and other requests received by the prosecutor's office are considered in the “procedure” and “time frame” established by federal legislation.
3. The response to an application, complaint or other appeal must be motivated. If the application or complaint is refused, the applicant must be explained the procedure for appealing the decision, as well as the right to go to court, if provided by law.
4. The prosecutor, in accordance with the procedure established by law, takes measures to bring to justice persons who have committed offenses.
""5. It is prohibited to forward a complaint to the body or official whose decisions or actions are being appealed.

27. The question is this. I was invited to a birthday party by a married couple. Where the conflict subsequently occurred. I arrived home. They called me and asked me to come down supposedly to apologize. My 17-year-old daughter came with me. The lady's husband and his friends drove up and threatened her with a bat. For self-defense, my daughter used a pepper spray. There were no witnesses. The phone received threatening calls. The application has already been written. But I'm afraid that nothing will happen to them.

27.1. Good afternoon Not every threat is subject to criminal liability. Within the framework of Art. 144 of the Code of Criminal Procedure of the Russian Federation will conduct an inspection.
Liability arises only if the threats of murder or infliction of grievous bodily harm, and these threats are REAL..., that is, there were grounds to fear that this threat would be carried out, -
- art. 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation

They can submit a counter-application (for a gas canister)

28. Such a question! Married to my husband, 1.5 I left him (I had problems with alcohol) now he says he’s in disguise! We have a baby together (5 m). My husband insists that he wants to see him, but throughout the entire time we separated, he did not give a penny for maintenance (even at my request). I don't want him to see the child! He wrote to me on social networks, I didn’t answer, he began to threaten that he wouldn’t give me a divorce, to call and humiliate and call my parents names! What to do in such a situation?

28.1. Hello!
Let him go to court to determine the order of communication with the child; he has the right to do so, but until there is a court decision, you can prevent their communication, taking into account his lifestyle.

28.2. Lika, first, go to court with a claim for alimony, or for divorce.
“Divorce won’t work” - we don’t have that at the moment.
You cannot “give” or “not give” a divorce.
If you go to court, you will be divorced.

29. The ex-husband intimidates, threatens, and tries to forcibly take away a child who has begun to fear him after receiving a court decision on the procedure for communication. The baby lives with his mother, where everything is in order and the requirements are met. What should I do to protect myself and neutralize my aggressive husband, even though he does not fulfill the requirements specified by the court (he is not interested in the life of the baby, does not participate and skips visits) and is it possible to sue him in response?

29.1. You can write a complaint against him to the guardianship authorities, you can file a claim in court about the generally desirable order of communication.

30. Some people call me, my neighbors and various other people I know, introducing themselves as employees of the prosecutor’s office, and they threatened to maim my ex-husband and son. They introduce themselves to everyone by different names. Can prosecutors behave this way, or are they collectors?

30.1. Well, what kind of prosecutors are they? Firstly, in order for you to be called to the prosecutor’s office, I don’t know what needs to be done; usually everything goes down to the police. Plus you didn't indicate the reason for the calls. But collectors, yes. Funny boys. Record conversations via speakerphone in the presence of witnesses and contact the police.

We hope that none of our readers will encounter such a situation in life! But, alas, those women who experienced threats from a spouse (or ex-spouse), They also hardly believed that this would happen to them - after all, they, too, once married a loving man! What to do, if husband threatens(or ex-husband) who to turn to and for what help, how to respond to threats- advises the women's website.

The husband threatens: what should the wife do?

First, you need to understand that this is not just “Vasenka is in a bad mood, you have to endure it” or “hitting means loving”!

Threats are an unlawful act. and you are absolutely not obliged to put on a “good face on a bad game” by listening to all this from your husband!

So, common mistakes that should not be made if your current or ex-husband threatens:

• Don't tell anyone about the threats. Like, why would I ruin the family’s reputation? Everything will still be fine, but my husband and I will be thought poorly of, etc. Of course, you should hope for the good, but you cannot remain in a situation where no one can help you, support you, and, in the end, confirm to the police that there really were threats! Think about who can become your “safety net” - parents, sister or brother, friends?.. In fact, publicity can be a very effective means of appeasing the threat - the husband may be afraid of ruining his own reputation!
• Do not contact law enforcement. Each local police officer will confirm how often neighbors, relatives and other third parties report about “domestic violence” - but not the affected women themselves! For some reason, in the Slavic mentality there is a very strong stereotype that if a husband threatens his wife, then “it’s her own stupid fault” and there’s no point in disgracing herself by making statements against her own husband! But this is exactly what tyrants and blackmailers use - confidence in impunity!
• Continue to endure this for years. To our great regret and horror, many families (if you can call it the word “family”) exist like this for years and decades - the husband drank, began to spew threats or even carry them out, sobered up, looked with repentant eyes, three days passed - history repeats itself... Not one must think that a threatening husband should be re-educated, “made to fall in love again”, especially just to endure the “hard woman’s lot”!.. It’s especially worth thinking about seriously if there are children in the family!!!

What to do when your husband threatens and you feel in danger?

But all of the above, rather, refers to the situation as a whole, which you need to think about with a cool head. And what to do exactly at that the moment when your husband threatens and you feel the danger of carrying out the threats?

• Call anyone for help! If possible, call people who can come to help - better not a hysterically screaming girlfriend, but a brother, dad, friend, someone who can keep his thoughts clear and protect you if something happens. If you can’t call, scream, call your neighbors, even knock on the radiators, even run out onto the balcony, calling for help!
• Try not to be alone with the threatening person.. If the conversation takes place at home, it is better to leave home for a while. Even if your husband follows you, it is no longer so dangerous: you should go to a crowded place where he is unlikely to do anything against you. Does your husband not want you to leave? At least run out into the entrance - there you are no longer in a closed “cage”: you can knock on your neighbors, in the end, the threatening person will also understand that his actions can already be heard and seen by strangers!
• Try to write down the threats. You can try to quietly turn on the video camera or voice recorder on your phone. It will come in handy.
• Agree with everything, if possible, fulfill the requirements threatening. Avoid hysteria and maintain an even, soothing tone of voice.

How can the law and law enforcement agencies help?

Threat of physical harm is a criminal offense. What the law implies for someone who makes threats can be read in Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.

Even if there was no divorce between the spouses, this is not a mitigating circumstance - You cannot threaten your wife in the same way as any other, stranger, person.

However, a problem arises - how to prove that there was a threat, and what can law enforcement agencies do to ensure safety?

Advice from the site: if your husband threatens and you understand that this is not a one-time outburst of emotions, but often repeated words, that you should be seriously afraid - go to the police(police) and ask the local police officer to accept threat statement.

Tell as much as possible - what was said, why you are afraid of carrying out the threat, etc. Ask how the police can help in your specific situation and how to ensure your safety.

A statement is not a lawsuit. Unless there is direct evidence of threats, it will probably end up in the archives somewhere.

But! If you want dthreaten and bring this person to justice before the law, then you will need facts - these can be the testimony of witnesses to the threats (preferably not relatives, since relatives can be considered interested parties), and best of all - video recordings.

The problem is this - very many husbands threaten their wives in private, without witnesses, rightly reasoning that the woman would not want to “wash dirty linen in public.” And it’s not always possible to make a hidden camera - how to understand where and when a situation will arise when a “domestic tyrant” voices a threat?!

Therefore, the common advice that law enforcement officials give to women who come to write an application for their spouse is: wait until your husband tries to directly carry out the threat, and quickly call the police.

If the arriving squad finds a clearly “abnormal” situation, then, firstly, the enraged husband will be given a strict reprimand at the scene, and secondly, this will already be evidence of an offense and a reason to initiate a criminal case. Also, the basis for starting a trial will be bodily injuries, etc.

But!!! Who would agree like that? risk yourself– secretly trying to call the police, waiting 10-20 minutes (and there are situations when these minutes are just a very long time!!!), much less allowing bodily harm?!

Therefore, unfortunately, in our reality the words that “saving drowning people are the work of the drowning people themselves” are still true... You yourself decide whether to continue to build a relationship with this person or the one who threatened you.

Anyway, no need to feel guilty - the law is on your side!

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